Leigh Kelly

What’s happened to society values?

I know I’ve been on a bit of a tangent these last few months, but this last week has caused me to question what has happened to society values.

Firstly, last week, I accidentally left my wallet on a counter in a shop. Now in the past in NZ, you would have been reminded that you had left your wallet by either the shop keeper (if they noticed) or a customer. In fact, that is what I would do today anyway.

However, this didn’t happen last week in my case. One of the 2 people behind me, picked it up and some hours later, took it up to the local supermarket and spent my cash – somewhere around 150.00. They then left my wallet somewhere near the supermarket where some law-abiding citizen handed it in to check out supervisor.

Now it just so happens a friend of mine is the duty manager at the supermarket, and when I told her that I would be unable to meet the next day as I had to replace my cards, she told me a wallet had been handed in. After my call, she checked for a name and sure enough it was mine. It was handed in at around 7pm. Now, I was at the supermarket that day at 13:58 to be exact (thanks to my Covid tracker diary). I used my wallet after that time, there is no way I was there at 7pm.

Another incident was where my daughter had asked me to pick up some groceries at another supermarket. She gave me her card to use as pay wave to pay for them. I got these items and returned the card to my pocket, so I thought, but it must have slid over the top and onto the floor at the check out. I realised this a short time later so returned to the supermarket to see if it had been handed in. Your right – no, it hadn’t.

Now fortunately, no money was taken out by pay wave in either case as blocks had been put on the cards fairly quickly, so I guess we’re both lucky in that way.

My question is this? What’s happened to our society? Why is it when people find something that doesn’t belong to them, and the item is clearly labeled with the owners name, do they not hand it in to the shop or the police? Why do they think it is their right to take what they can from someone else or attempt to take what they can from a person they do not know. Is this now COOL behaviour?

The same goes for stealing from residents or patients in our care. Theft is theft – game set and match. Oh, how I wish to return to the wonderful honest values of New Zealanders. While I do know there are still some good old fashioned honest people in New Zealand and I am realistic to realise that there have always been people who are opportunist theives. However, for me, I would never even consider not telling someone they had left their wallet on the counter or hand in a found credit/debit card on the floor and I’m sure there are still people like me. I guess I have been unlucky to have struck 2 incidents in one week where opportunists do not think like me.

Who pays for your education?

by Leigh Kelly

This can be a hotly debated topic. Is it you personally or should your employer pay for it? Well, I guess it boils down to this – whose practicing certificate is it? Yours or your employers?

So, what is your employer’s role around your practicing certificate?

Well, they need to make sure it is current and renewed each year. The employer also has to check that the medical practitioner, physiotherapist or occupation therapist or any other allied health professional has a current practicing certificate too, not just yours. Is your employer responsible for paying for the allied health professional’s educations? No, they aren’t. The individual is responsible for ensuring they keep up to date with their education hours.

So, the question is, does an allied health professional get anything more than you do to be able to come in and attend to residents or clients. They get remunerated for it just like you. While it may not be a weekly wage, their services are still paid for by your employer, but your employer does not pay for them to go to educational updates.

So that comes down to you as a RN or EN. Who should pay for your education – you or your employer? I guess this is a question you have to ask yourself. Do you give anything more to your employer than an allied health professional? You may argue you do, but you see, your employer’s ability to provide the service is dependent not only on you, but also the caregivers and the allied health professions they contract in to service their clients or residents.

Why am I bringing this up again? Well, many RNs and ENs have an expectation that their employer will pay for their education hours, and if they won’t, they don’t attend. Now if your employer does pay for you to attend education updates in the form of paid days off, course fees etc, be grateful because they don’t have to. If you don’t have a current practicing certificate because your education hours are insufficient, that is your issue – you can’t practice.

So why then am I discussing this? Well, in some cases there is not much loyalty or gratitude paid to a generous employer. Loyalty is not something high on the values of some people. Money is and some people will think nothing of jumping ship to a get a higher paid position rather than give back to a generous employer. Your employer should expect something in return for being generous and giving you a day off and paying for your education. Do you give back to them or is your expectation that it is their responsibility to keep you employed when tomorrow you could hand in your notice and not look back.

When you next see an educational session you would like to attend, think first of how you can contribute to paying for it. Maybe you discuss a partnership with your employer? Maybe you take some annual leave or lieu days to attend so they are not paying both your wages and for someone to replace you. If they do want to pay for your fee to attend and your wages, then be grateful and show them some loyalty. Give back to them and be considerate to your employer. Work together because in the end, you are the one that keeps the knowledge you attain. Sure, your employer will benefit while you are there but if you leave, you walk out with that knowledge. It is not left behind.

Now I am not saying which is right. I have been the recipient of having an employer pay for courses for me for which I was very grateful, but I have also been an employer who had to look at the budget to see if staff could be paid for to do course and this can be quite a dilemma. So spare a thought for your employer who is trying to balance the books and if they graciously pay for you to do training, be grateful and give back to them with your loyalty.

Food for thought isn’t it?

The power of giving back

by Leigh Kelly

Last month I talked about being grateful for what we have. This month I am going to talk about the power of giving back or paying it forward.

So what has sparked this for me to want to write about it? Well last month I advertised on Face Book the library that is now available for professional development educations hours. One response came back with “About time nurses had protected education time and that it was paid for”

Now I didn’t respond to it because I do not feel we need to get into a tit for tat, right wrong sort of debate in a public forum like Face Book as there are too many negative posts on there any way.

However, my question is “Whose responsibility is your practicing certificate?” It is not the DHB or your employers. It is yours. If you don’t keep up with your professional development and fail the competencies for your practicing certificate, do you really think the DHB or your employer is going to enable you to keep working No! They will look to replace you tomorrow.

Do not think you are so precious and indispensable. Who every employs you owes you nothing? You owe it to yourself and your patients/residents/clients to keep up to date with current information AND pay for it yourself. You can look at it as paying it forward: being grateful that you have work because a lot of people don’t. Think more about what you can contribute rather than what you can take. What has happened to our community? Is it no longer cool to give back?

This year, I have purchased for my grandchildren so cards Acts of Kindness or AOK. These cards are about encouraging people to be kind. The first card I picked up said “Children love toys under the tree. Buy something for someone not as lucky as me.” The next card I pulled was “Candy canes are a Christmas treat. Leave some for strangers now that would be neat.” The third care said “Ring someone for no reason at all. Tell them you love them on that call.”

Now it struck me that if we could foster some of this kindness in our workplace, then what a great place it would be. Instead of your employer thanking you, why don’t you thank them for a change. Instead of your employer paying for you to work and train, why don’t you pay for your own training to thank your employer for giving you the opportunity to work.

I know it is easy to think your employer has an infinite amount of money and can pay to keep you in work. The reality is they do not have a pot of gold available to pay for everything they would like. I am sure they would like to pay you more. I’m sure they would love to be able to give all the staff you need to make your job easier. I’m sure they would love to be able to pay for unlimited training to keep your skills up. But they don’t.

Having a job is a privilege not a right. Show some gratitude towards your employer and do something for them this Christmas. Show them you appreciate them: that they do not only help you put food on the table and roof over the head of your family. That you appreciate them giving you the opportunity to feel worthwhile and valued; that they give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. That they give you a reason to smile each day and care.

Remember giving back doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. It is the little things that count. 2020 has been a hard year for everyone so why not let’s make 2121 a year of giving and forgiving. Of loving and appreciating everyone around you. Of spreading love, not gossip and falsehoods.

May your Christmas be one of joy and giving. Of loving and laughter. Of joy and thankfulness. Till next year. Merry Christmas.

Living in a grateful world

by Leigh Kelly

As we’ve recently gone through a general election and two referendums, it is interesting to see the changes that are happening in the country. We certainly are getting more diversity in parliament which reflects the nature of New Zealand’s population so it will be interesting to see what happens in the future. While Labour and the Greens have worked out a deal, one cannot help but think that because Labour has a majority, how much influence the Greens will have. I guess we just have to wait and see what transpires over the next 3 years.

As far as the End of life choice bill referendums is concerned, I wonder how many people actually like the idea of being able to make a choice but do not fully understand what it is for the health professionals who have to apply this law. While I believe the actual number of people who chose this option, when it comes to actually making a choice, few people will take it up. However, my thoughts go to the health professionals who have devoted their career to saving lives, to be put in a position of now having to actively facilitate a person’s death.

As far as the Cannabis referendum went, I wonder that by not voting for Cannibas reform what the effects of this will be? I guess it’s just another wait and see isn’t it.

However, one thing I am grateful that for is that we truly live in a democracy where we have sensible and sane leaders at the top. When we look at the debacle that has been going on in the US, I am so pleased that we do not have any of that nonsense here. I find it so amazing that people can actually vote for someone like Donald Trump who is so full of his own importance, makes up lies, contradicts himself, and tweets so many untruths that people actually revere him. It makes me wonder at the psyche of some people. I’m sure the fireworks are not over there yet. He’s like a screaming child, screaming and stamping his feet because he has been told to do something.

So today, I am writing a list of what I am grateful for

That we truly live in a democracy where all people can have their say without violence
That on the most part, our politicians are honest
That we have a really stable country
That sense prevailed and we opted for short term pain for long term gain with Covid-19
Majority of New Zealanders are sensible and consider others
That we all have freedom

What are you grateful for and what are the benefits of being grateful:

Now we are not perfect by any means, but who is and what is perfect anyway. However, if we compare ourselves with other countries, we are pretty lucky. I can see why we are so attractive for people to want to live here. So if you don’t think being grateful has a positive effect on you and your health, then listen to the research on this in this clip:

Improving the wellbeing of older people

by Leigh Kelly

Those of you who did the Assessment Clinical Update in 2018 and 2019 will remember Dr Jed Montayre. He is now based in West Sydney University and has started an interesting programme to begin next year. It is a Masters in Aging – wellbeing and sustainability. Here is an article on it. He says ageing is not just about decline.

This is great to see as being in this age group and having sustained a fractured humerus 2 years ago and fractured pelvis this year, it is wonderful to see work going into how to sustain older people as they age. While I admit, I may be in the minority still working, more and more people are working past the age of 65. In fact, it’s not uncommon for people to work till they are 70 and beyond. While I move around in the community of older people, let me tell you, they are a vibrant lot of people and while they may not be actively working paid employment, they are very active in the community and in living. There are exercise, education and theatre groups, just to mention a few things that I know of.

Many are involved in travel and are always flitting overseas till Covid – 19 hit so now the are zooming around New Zealand.

There have been many studies of mixing young children with older adults around the world to. I am not aware of any in New Zealand, but it would be something well worth looking at. Some have a bit more than children visiting aged care facilities and villages to do an item but something ongoing where they are intricately involved with the older people.

On Vibe Channel on Thursday nights, they have been televising some experiments in the UK. One was this one in Bristol which ran for 6 weeks and the second study was one held for 3 months in Lark Hill Retirement Village in Nottingham 2018. Watch here. After the show there was an interview with one of the older people and the 4 year old she partnered with. Watch here.

Now the important thing for me here is the testing that was done throughout the study. The second study in Nottingham, had older people from the age of 70 to 103. The change in the older people during this time was remarkable. They were happier, stronger, more confident and more vibrant people. We must never forget that people can be socially isolated even when surrounded by people. How hard it must be to be left with only your memories to reflect on, which often focuses on the losses rather than the good things that happened in life.

A similar study was conducted in Australia in 2019. Just see the results of this. Wouldn’t it be amazing if such programmes are run in New Zealand ongoing? How much more enriched older people lives would be if they had something to look forward to each day and what a rewarding experience it is for the children, many of them who do not have grandparents living close to them. We must not forget that many people have family living away from their parent be it overseas or in other parts of the country. Some people do not have family either so we must think “how can we make their lives better” and set a path for this to happen.

So, when planning an activity programme in your facility, look at how you can introduce an intergenerational programme for you residents by partnering with a day care in your area. Many children do not have grandparents living locally, as I said, so they could really benefit from buddying up with an older person. Just think of the wonderful memories that can be created for both the children and the older person which can all be recorded to look back on. For the child, it can be a memory to show their own children when they get older. For the older person, it can be a memory for the absent families to treasure. What better project to work towards after the lockdown that we have all experienced? It would truly be a win/win for all.

Managing stress in a stressful environment

by Leigh Kelly

This month I want to discuss self-care. The reason here, is the few people I have spoken to over the last month, tell me how constantly busy they are. I know I put a TED talk in last month about triaging your crazy busy life, but I thought I would address it again about how to keep yourself safe and as stress free as possible. You might like to take another look at the TED Talk .

Stress is something we can’t get away from, but it is how we manage the stress we are under that is important. Telling yourself how busy you are, is only going to make yourself more stressed and ultimately you get less done. So, think about how important your self-talk is. I had an interesting talk with my grandson recently about fear. He was to attend a new swimming class and he said to me “I am scared, and I have a headache and a funny tummy”. When I asked him why, he told me because it was new, and he didn’t know anyone in his class. So, what did we talk about?

Firstly, it is natural to be fearful when you are to attend something new, but once you get there and start the swimming, you will find the headache and the funny tummy, will go away. Of course, this is what happened. The fear went away, the tummy settled down and he got into the swimming.

What is interesting though, he is now using the skills we talked about to help coach his mates through fear. I witnessed him encouraging a mate, who could not swim, to use a surfboard in the pond on our property. He is turning out to be a wonderful, patient teacher. Very encouraging and instilling trust with his colleagues. What a wonderful skill for an 8 year old to have. His teachers tell us he is doing this to help others at school to. This of course will stand him in great stead throughout his life and what’s more, he is now seeing the positive results from his mates with their confidence soaring.

Now a big part of your job is to keep the staff together. Often you may feel there is no one there for you. It can be a very lonely place at the top because you cannot afford to fall apart. Boy do I know that. In 1989, I was the charge nurse of a long-term care ward in the public sector. This was when all long-term care was taken out of the public system. Our ward was the last to close and I chose redundancy as my option. Others on my ward were also being made redundant. Our ward was the holding pen so to speak for them. It was a hard time and I couldn’t afford to fall apart. I had to keep everyone together. I know how important and hard it is and how alone you sometimes feel. So how can you take care of yourself, while keeping the team together?

I believe the first thing to do in selfcare is to not be hard on yourself if you don’t get everything done you wanted to do. Take a breath. Write a list. Now ideally prioritise the list in order of importance if you can but that in itself can increase your stress. It just takes more ‘brain time’ in an already overloaded brain and it may be just too much. So, just get them out of you head onto paper and tick them off when completed. What doesn’t get done today, can wait till tomorrow.

Don’t take your frustration out on your staff or loved ones. They are relying on you to keep everything functioning. Hard and all as it is, don’t let them fall apart because you are falling apart. Take a breath and tell yourself you can do this, and you will get through it. It’s amazing what happens when you say you can rather than you can’t.

Take care of yourself. Get a massage, go for a relaxing walk, meet up with friends in the best way you can (you can do this electronically just as well) Put some oils in an infuser, listen to some music or learn meditation or mindfulness. These are amazing tools for quieting your very busy mind. If you do not know how to meditate, just find a guided meditation on you tube, sit or lie down and relax. Take a few deep breaths and just listen to the meditation, preferably via headphones and see how it subtly changes the way you feel.

I guess finally you should always have hope. When you have hope, then life has some meaning, so don’t lose hope. This current state will pass, and you can then look back with pride, so take care of yourself now. If you are worried about how to manage your stress, there are some great tips here.

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